Not as easy as I had hoped...

Well it's been 5 days since Nate transferred to Wayside in Framingham. Unfortunately the transition wasn't as smooth a I had hoped it would be. I haven't been out to see him yet myself but have talked to him on the phone which seems to always end up with him wanting to fight and hang up on me. He claims that he is having more episodes we agreed together that is is more than likely from the stress of being in a new place. The problem is that he feels that when he wakes up from his episode that the staff are all looking at him likes it's his fault and that he is bringing on the spells himself. A little bit of paranoia I think. When ever I hang  up the phone with him I can't help but think I made the wrong decision. Today I called him and he was very agitated. Nate didn't have a great visit with Dad and Jack last night so he felt the need to take it out on me today. Honestly I don't know how much longer this is going to go on and I don't know how much more I can take. When Nate decided to hang up the phone he passed it back to whom ever his person for the day is. I was obviously upset and apologized to that person telling him I thought I made a mistake. He said I made no mistake I was only asking him what had happened the night before. As I got to the point of being hysterical I just said thanks gotta go. About five minutes later Nate called back much calmer and apologized and started telling me what had gone on the night before. I was numb from the first conversation and really couldn't even speak to him. I told him I was sorry he had a bad night and I had to go. He asked me to stop crying I said ok and he said promise I said ok gotta go. I haven't stopped since then. Today is one of  those days you wish you had slept all day.

Moving Day..

Well seems we have finally made it to the point of moving on. Honestly I never thought the day would come. We have had so many moving on dates only to be cancelled for another time. Nathanael or Nate is how he likes to be known as now. Funny Nate decided to change his name because he felt the old name was filled with bad memories from his past that made his present so very dark and any future impossible to even think of. Nate from here on in is full of life and hope. We are moving to a step down unit in Framingham. This unit is heavy therapy and getting Nate ready to get back into the real world. this will last a couple of weeks then on to a day program with Nate coming home at night, almost like a school day. Nate is chomping at the bit to get back to school. He even tried to get me to tell the doctors he did not need this new program. He felt great and he wanted to just come home and go back to school. Not a chance buddy, I am nit ready to do this all over again. Small steps that's all we need to take. So as of tomorrow Wednesday, January 12,2012 an old journey ends and a new journey begins. My fingers are crossed to have a smooth transition. Will let you all know how things turn out.